Boredom is the desire to experience and learn, without the ability or desire to do.
I woke up around three o’clock in the morning, again. This time it was with the realization that I, or at least the characters in my stories, live in the past.
This past week I have been fixing some of my writings to allow the reader to live the experience along with the characters, rather than simply reading about things which have happened to them. A few minutes ago I told Barbara, who has in the meantime fallen back to sleep beside me, that I feel the way in which I write may be an important clue into the way I see the world.
I came to the realization that I tend to write, at least when writing stories and poetry, in third-person past-tense. Barbara said, “It’s because you’re too tense.” then rolled away from me so she could sleep, as once again I reached for my iPad in the middle of the night. I feel the need to express my thoughts on this subject, before they are lost in the haze of dreams that are sure to come this morning.
Do I see the world, and live my life, looking at the past in third-person, in a constant state of disconnection? It will be interesting to see what my writings say about how I view my existance, how I look at myself and the world around me. Am I ever looking to the past for the answers to life’s questions, or toward the future with hope? Am I constantly looking back at the things that have happened to me, holding on to hurt, trying to relive happier times, or am I able to live in the now, experience life as it happens? Does all this say something profound about my psychological state, or does it speak to my need of a refresher course in proper grammar? 😉
It will be interesting to review what I have written, in order to better understand who I am. I may discover, as I review my past musings, that this was simply lunatic ravings, which occasionally occur in the midst of the night, or it could possibly lead to real change in how I look at life going forward. I suppose the only way to know is to search for the answer in the past, but for now I sleep.
If someone plants an idea in your head, that doesn’t mean you have to water it.
There are some days where I feel God is trying desperately to get a message through my thick skull. Yesterday seemed to be one of those days.
I was listening to the songs that my friends and I will be singing at the opening of the GloryReelz Christian Film Festival next Friday evening. The two songs that Jeff Street had chosen came on and made me take pause.
The first was “One Thing Remains” by Jesus Culture
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing… Remains
Your love never fails, never gives up
Never runs out on me
I thought about how these songs inspire us, lift our hearts, because they are about God’s love for us.
The second was the song “I Am” by Crowder
There’s no space that His love can’t reach
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace
Take me in with your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go, never leave my side.
What is grace? Grace is undeserved favor in someone’s eyes. In God’s eyes.
God’s love never fails. His grace has no end. He never runs out on us. Although we separate ourselves from our Heavenly Father, He still finds it in His heart to take these self-inflicted orphans back into His house, into His arms, into His family. He even gives us refrigerator privileges. These thoughts make Christians feel good about ourselves. The question here is… are we extending that same grace to those around us?
Are we extending it to those who are different from us? How about those who we feel are making poor choices as to their lifestyle? Those who have done wrong, hurt others? Those who we feel justified in passing judgment on?
We need to be reminded constantly of God’s mercy and grace, His unfailing love for us, so that when we fall, when we fail, we know that He will forgive us. God allows us to make poor choices, and learn from the consequences of those choices. God also gave us analytical minds, so that we could learn from our mistakes, and the mistakes of others. Learn, not judge, not condemn.
We all have sin in our lives. If you think you don’t, you may be blind. So, when we look at someone else, choose to see the person, not the percieved flaws or sin. After all, that is what God does for us.
It is only through challenge that one can see the true depth of their beliefs.